What If the Road Was Never the Problem?

There is a quiet habit we seldom notice in ourselves. 

It slips in unnoticed, almost like second nature.

A conversation that did not go well — we replay what the other person said.
An opportunity that passed us by — we dwell on the circumstances.
Something we failed to achieve — we catalogue the obstacles.
Rarely do we begin with ourselves. 

Not because we lack honesty, but because it is always easier to look outward than to look within.
Blame is subtle. 

It does not always wear the face of anger. At times, it arrives dressed as reason.
“It wasn’t the right time.”
“They didn’t support me.”
“Things were not in my favour.”
And often, these statements are not entirely untrue.

Life is not always fair. People are not always kind. Circumstances are not always within our control. Yet, beneath all of this lies a quieter truth — one we do not always pause to confront.

None of these things can decide what we do next. They may influence us, delay us, even dishearten us. But they cannot choose on our behalf.

That part remains ours - UNTOUCHED!

And that is where the real story UNFOLDS!

There is always a moment — often fleeting, often overlooked — when we choose.
To step forward or step back.
To persevere or to withdraw.
To rise above or to remain where we are.

These choices rarely arrive with fanfare. They are not grand gestures. They do not announce themselves.
Yet, over time, they become the architects of our lives.

To accept this is not comfortable. It shifts the lens entirely.

It asks us to recognise that our lives are shaped not only by what happens to us, but by how we respond to it.
It asks us to admit that even in difficult moments, there were choices we made — or quietly chose not to make.

And that is not always easy to face.

Blame offers a certain relief. It allows us to lay the burden elsewhere, to place the weight outside ourselves.

But it takes something in return — quietly, almost imperceptibly. It takes away our sense of control.

For if others are responsible for where we stand, then they must also be responsible for where we go. And so, we find ourselves waiting — for circumstances to shift, for people to change, for life to fall into place.

Ownership, on the other hand, is heavier.

It asks us to look at our lives without the comfort of filters.
To accept what was beyond us — and what was not.
To acknowledge that while we were never in control of everything, we were never entirely without agency either.

And yet, within that weight lies something unexpected.

Freedom!

Here, one cannot help but recall The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.
We often remember it as a poem about courage — about choosing the road less travelled. But there is a quieter truth within it.

The traveller stands at a fork, aware that he cannot take both paths. He pauses, reflects, and then chooses — fully conscious that the decision rests with him alone.

There is no one else to credit. There is no one else to blame.

And much later, as he looks back, he says that the choice “has made all the difference.”

Not the road. Not the circumstances. But the CHOICE!

That is the truth we so often overlook.

At every stage of life, we stand at such crossroads — not always visible, not always obvious — but always present.
In the decisions we postpone.
In the chances we hesitate to take.
In the moments we allow to slip through our fingers.

And when we look back, it becomes easy to rewrite the narrative — to say we could not, to say we were not given the chance, to say the odds were not in our favour.

But perhaps the harder, quieter question remains:

At that moment, what did we choose? And, that is your answer! 

Pages That Deepen with Time!

For a long time, I had been carrying a quiet wish within me - to return to the novels and novellas that once shaped my college days, to open their pages again and see how they might speak to the mind and heart of the person I have since become. I wanted to feel them anew, to test whether stories we once loved remember us as faithfully as we remember them. Today, at last, I made time for that small, whimsical longing… and what I discovered was nothing short of wondrous.

More Nostalgia!

More Realizations!

More Depth!

There is a gentle, almost sacred tenderness in rereading a book that once rested in your hands years ago - much like rewatching a film from your younger days and suddenly noticing glances, pauses, and quiet meanings that once slipped past you unnoticed. 

The story has not changed! 

The words remain where they always were! 

And yet, 

Something feels different, as though the pages themselves have learned a deeper language during your absence, waiting patiently for you to grow into their truth!

Today I wandered once more through the windswept fields and hushed emotions of Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy (1874), a novel that once accompanied me in my UG years. Back then, I admired it as one admires a painting - from a thoughtful distance, attentive to its craft, its elegance, its structure. Perhaps I even read it with examinations in mind, hoping to gather marks along with meanings - who can say for certain?

But today, I did not stand outside it. I stepped inside. I felt the hush of its landscapes settle around me, the ache within its silences, the fragile courage trembling beneath Bathsheba’s pride, and the steady, sunrise-like warmth of Gabriel’s devotion. Scenes that once seemed merely beautiful now felt quietly profound; passages I once skimmed now lingered like echoes. It was no longer simply a novel I was reading — it was a world I was inhabiting.

And, it struck me then that time is the truest co-author of every rereading. 

Life annotates the margins! 

Experience underlines certain sentences!

Memory turns ordinary passages luminous!

We return thinking we are revisiting a story, only to discover that the story has been patiently waiting to revisit us.

Perhaps, that is why certain books never truly end. They relax on our shelves with the calm assurance of old companions, knowing that when we return, we will not encounter the same story again - we will encounter ourselves, reflected more deeply, more honestly, and more tenderly in their pages!

Directions vs Direction

Leadership is often mistaken for issuing instructions.
Tell people what to do!
Set targets!
Finish tasks!
Move on!
Do this! Do that!
Show authority!
That may keep a system functioning, but it rarely makes people care.

Directions produce compliance!

Direction creates commitment!

Anyone with authority can give directions. A leader, however, shapes direction. Leaders do not merely assign today’s tasks; they illuminate the purpose behind the work and point towards a larger vision. When people understand why their effort matters and where it is leading, work stops feeling like a series of orders and starts feeling like a meaningful journey.

This shift - from giving directions to giving direction - rests heavily on communication. Effective leadership communication is not about speaking more or speaking louder; it is about speaking with clarity, conviction, and respect. When leaders explain the purpose behind expectations, listen sincerely to concerns, and choose words that honour the dignity of the people they lead, they build trust. And trust transforms how every message is received. The same instruction can feel like a burden when delivered carelessly or like guidance when offered with intention.

Consider two teachers trying to improve classroom participation.

One says,
“From tomorrow, everyone must answer at least one question in every class. No excuses.”
Students comply. A few speak up. Many mumble. Some stay silent out of fear. The rule is followed, but confidence isn’t built.

The other says,
“I’ve noticed many of you hesitate to speak because you’re afraid of being wrong. This class is a safe space to try. Speaking up is how you learn to think clearly. Let’s practise together, and I’ll support you when you struggle.”
The expectation is the same.
The experience is not.
One forces response.
The other builds confidence.

Consider two managers addressing low employee engagement.

One says,
“From today, everyone must attend an extra training session every evening. Attendance is mandatory.”
Employees show up. Some listen, some switch off, some just wait for it to end. The room is full, but minds are absent.

The other says,
“I’ve noticed many of you feeling disconnected from your work. This extra session isn’t about forcing learning—it’s about helping you grow skills that will make your job easier and more meaningful. Let’s use this time to learn from each other, and I’ll support you through it.”

The activity is the same.
The atmosphere is not.
One fills chairs.
The other builds engagement.

True leadership is not measured by how firmly you control a classroom, a team, or an institution. It is measured by how powerfully you shape thinking, attitude, and purpose.

Directions can make people act when you are watching.
Direction makes people move even when you are not.

Leaders who give direction do not merely manage today’s work; they shape tomorrow’s people.

And, that is the kind of leadership that endures.

Discipline vs Punishment

We often use the words discipline and punishment as if they mean the same thing. But in real life, they don’t work the same way at all. Both try to correct behaviour, yes—but only one actually helps in building character.

Discipline is meant to guide. It helps a child understand what went wrong and how to do better next time. It is about teaching self-control and helping students make the right choices on their own. Punishment, on the other hand, is usually about stopping behaviour instantly. It may work for the moment, but it doesn’t always help the child understand why the behaviour was wrong.

When discipline is practiSed well, it focuses on values. Children begin to see the reason behind rules instead of following them blindly. With calm guidance and clear expectations, they slowly learn responsibility, reflection, and sound judgement. Over time, this inner sense of right and wrong becomes stronger than any fear of authority.

Punishment, especially when given in anger or frustration, might bring quick obedience. But it can also weaken trust. Fear may stop a child for the moment, but it does not build responsibility. Obedience that comes from fear is short-lived; understanding that comes from guidance stays longer.

Of course, this does not mean that mistakes should go unchecked. Consequences are necessary. But they should be meaningful and connected to the behaviour. The purpose is to correct, not to embarrass; to help a child grow, not to make them feel small.

Those who guide young minds have a powerful influence. When discipline is chosen over punishment, mistakes turn into learning moments rather than labels. This approach quietly builds resilience, integrity, and self-discipline.

In the end, punishment may control behaviour for a short while, but discipline is what truly shapes character for life.

Fair Isn’t Always Equal

At some point, almost every child has said, “That’s not fair.”

And as adults, we’ve probably said it too.

Fair often feels like everyone getting the same thing. The same rules. The same expectations. The same support. But in school — and in life — fairness looks a little different.

A student once said, “Why does he get extra time? I finished already.”

It was an honest question. A fair one.

What that student couldn’t see was that the extra time wasn’t an advantage — it was a support. Just like glasses help someone see the board, or a ramp helps someone enter a building, extra time helps some students show what they know.

Children come to school with different stories. Some learn quickly, others need more time. Some feel confident raising their hand, while others are quietly managing anxiety, learning challenges, or difficult mornings at home. When we treat every child exactly the same, we risk missing what they truly need.

For students, this means understanding that someone else getting help doesn’t take anything away from you. It simply means they are receiving the support they need to succeed — just as you deserve support when you need it.

For parents, it means trusting that flexibility and accommodations aren’t about lowering expectations. They are about giving children the tools they need to reach those expectations in their own way.

When students feel understood rather than compared, something powerful happens. They become more willing to try, to ask questions, and to believe in themselves. School becomes a place where differences are accepted — not judged.

Fair isn’t always equal — and that’s okay.

Because real fairness meets each child where they are and helps them move forward.

And when we do that, everyone grows.

Encourgement is the Key!

Picture a young child struggling to build a tower of blocks. Every time they stack them higher, the structure wobbles and collapses. Frustration wells up in their tiny hands, ready to give up. But then, a voice says, "You’re getting better! Try again!" With renewed determination, they stack the blocks once more. This voice, full of belief and encouragement, is the invisible force shaping their future.

Parents often worry about providing the best - the best clothes, the best gadgets etc. While these are useful, none compare to the immeasurable value of encouragement. A child with encouragement grows up believing they are capable, resilient, and worthy. Love gives them warmth, but encouragement gives them wings. Encouragement isn’t just about offering praise—it’s about guiding a child to see their potential and stretch beyond their comfort zone. It’s about saying, "I know you can do this," even when they doubt themselves. It’s about reminding them that failure isn’t the end, but a stepping stone to growth.

Encouragement does not mean ignoring weaknesses. Shielding children from their flaws does not make them stronger—it makes them fragile. If a child is careless with their work, a parent’s role isn’t to say, "It’s fine, you’re amazing!" but rather, "You have a great start! Let’s refine it together." Encouragement is truth wrapped in kindness. Children who receive encouragement in the right way develop a strong inner voice. They learn to say to themselves, "I can improve," rather than "I’m not good enough." This self-belief will carry them through school, friendships, careers, and life’s unexpected challenges.

How to Offer Encouragement That Lasts?

# I love how much time you spent on this project! instead of You’re so smart.

# You’re improving every time you try! rather than You have to be the best.

# This is great! Let’s see how we can make it even better.

# Show them how to encourage others by being their example.

A child raised with encouragement becomes an adult who faces life with courage and optimism. They become the person who lifts others up, who isn’t afraid to take risks, who doesn’t crumble under setbacks. This is the kind of gift that lasts a lifetime, shaping not only one individual but generations to come.

So it is always a good idea to ask yourself every other day - Have I given my child the gift of encouragement today?

The right words, spoken by the parents or teachers with belief and love, can be the foundation upon which they build their future, don't you think so? 

Panchavti Panchamukha Anjaneyar Kshetram

As the new year begins, I find myself drawn to an idea that has lingered in my mind for years—to blog regularly about the temples and heritage monuments in Pondicherry. What better place to start this journey than with Panchavati? Introduced to me by my best friend Sujata, Panchavati quickly became a cherished destination for our shared spiritual explorations.

Nestled in the tranquil outskirts of Pondicherry, Panchavati isn’t merely a temple; it’s a profound experience. My first visit left an indelible mark on me, and each subsequent trip feels like returning to a haven of peace and devotion. The Panchavati Panchamukha Anjaneya Temple, located just 12 kilometers from Pondicherry, is home to the world’s second-largest Anjaneya idol—a breathtaking sight that draws devotees and curious travelers alike.

As you approach the temple, there’s a palpable shift in the air. The modest yet enchanting architecture exudes timelessness. Stone pathways adorned with intricate kolams (traditional South Indian rangoli designs) invite you toward the sanctum, heightening the sense of anticipation.

The main deity, Lord Hanuman, rises majestically at 36 feet, the tallest Hanuman statue in India. This extraordinary idol, adorned with the faces of Garuda, Narasimha, Varaha, and Hayagriva, frames the central visage of Lord Hanuman, symbolizing his multifaceted divinity. Flickering oil lamps illuminate the deity, casting a golden glow that enhances the sanctity and awe of the space.

One of the most heartwarming aspects of visiting Panchavati is the prasadam. Whether it’s the sweet pongal infused with jaggery and ghee or the humble curd rice garnished with fresh curry leaves, every offering seems to carry an essence of love and devotion. Each bite transcends the mere act of eating, becoming a sacred connection to the divine.

The two gentle ladies who serve the prasadam are integral to this experience. Their warm smiles and maternal kindness elevate a simple ritual into a deeply personal exchange. Every time I visit, they inquire about my well-being with genuine concern, turning the act of receiving prasadam into a moment of heartfelt connection.

During one of my visits, I learned a fascinating story about the presence of Perumal (Lord Vishnu) at the temple. According to the priest, Perumal was returning from a wedding when he decided to rest at Panchavati. Enchanted by the place, he chose to remain there. The priest’s narration, filled with charm and reverence, brought this tale to life, adding a touch of historical and mythical wonder to my experience. Stories like these, passed down through generations, are treasures that deepen the allure of places like Panchavati.

The temple’s history further enriches its charm. Established decades ago by a group of devoted individuals, Panchavati was envisioned as a sanctuary for spiritual solace. Over the years, it has become a vibrant hub for community gatherings, festivals, and cultural celebrations. Despite its growing popularity, the temple has retained its intimate and tranquil essence.

To me, Panchavati is much more than a place of worship; it is a sanctuary for the soul. It is where I have found moments of introspection, joy, and a sense of community. Each visit serves as a poignant reminder of life’s simplest yet most profound joys—a warm smile, a heartfelt inquiry, the taste of prasadam, and the enduring strength of faith.

If you ever find yourself in Pondicherry, I urge you not to miss Panchavati. It is a place where divinity and humanity intertwine beautifully, leaving you with cherished memories and a heart brimming with gratitude.