What If the Road Was Never the Problem?

There is a quiet habit we seldom notice in ourselves. 

It slips in unnoticed, almost like second nature.

A conversation that did not go well — we replay what the other person said.
An opportunity that passed us by — we dwell on the circumstances.
Something we failed to achieve — we catalogue the obstacles.
Rarely do we begin with ourselves. 

Not because we lack honesty, but because it is always easier to look outward than to look within.
Blame is subtle. 

It does not always wear the face of anger. At times, it arrives dressed as reason.
“It wasn’t the right time.”
“They didn’t support me.”
“Things were not in my favour.”
And often, these statements are not entirely untrue.

Life is not always fair. People are not always kind. Circumstances are not always within our control. Yet, beneath all of this lies a quieter truth — one we do not always pause to confront.

None of these things can decide what we do next. They may influence us, delay us, even dishearten us. But they cannot choose on our behalf.

That part remains ours - UNTOUCHED!

And that is where the real story UNFOLDS!

There is always a moment — often fleeting, often overlooked — when we choose.
To step forward or step back.
To persevere or to withdraw.
To rise above or to remain where we are.

These choices rarely arrive with fanfare. They are not grand gestures. They do not announce themselves.
Yet, over time, they become the architects of our lives.

To accept this is not comfortable. It shifts the lens entirely.

It asks us to recognise that our lives are shaped not only by what happens to us, but by how we respond to it.
It asks us to admit that even in difficult moments, there were choices we made — or quietly chose not to make.

And that is not always easy to face.

Blame offers a certain relief. It allows us to lay the burden elsewhere, to place the weight outside ourselves.

But it takes something in return — quietly, almost imperceptibly. It takes away our sense of control.

For if others are responsible for where we stand, then they must also be responsible for where we go. And so, we find ourselves waiting — for circumstances to shift, for people to change, for life to fall into place.

Ownership, on the other hand, is heavier.

It asks us to look at our lives without the comfort of filters.
To accept what was beyond us — and what was not.
To acknowledge that while we were never in control of everything, we were never entirely without agency either.

And yet, within that weight lies something unexpected.

Freedom!

Here, one cannot help but recall The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.
We often remember it as a poem about courage — about choosing the road less travelled. But there is a quieter truth within it.

The traveller stands at a fork, aware that he cannot take both paths. He pauses, reflects, and then chooses — fully conscious that the decision rests with him alone.

There is no one else to credit. There is no one else to blame.

And much later, as he looks back, he says that the choice “has made all the difference.”

Not the road. Not the circumstances. But the CHOICE!

That is the truth we so often overlook.

At every stage of life, we stand at such crossroads — not always visible, not always obvious — but always present.
In the decisions we postpone.
In the chances we hesitate to take.
In the moments we allow to slip through our fingers.

And when we look back, it becomes easy to rewrite the narrative — to say we could not, to say we were not given the chance, to say the odds were not in our favour.

But perhaps the harder, quieter question remains:

At that moment, what did we choose? And, that is your answer!